Posts Tagged ‘Tuesday’

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.29.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which pretty much wouldn’t have happened without Instagram boobs and an unhealthy (and I’m just now noticing incestuous…maybe I should swap out that pic, oh look, beer!) injection of Brazilian ass. It’s like a Frankenstein monster of all things Internet, but without cat photos, unless you count Fat Rob Kardashian as cat photos, which now that I’ve suggested it should definitely be the new thing.

Could you imagine him trying to jump onto a table, but missing slightly and falling off? OHMYGOD or, or curling up in Khloe‘s mouth and just falling asleep?!ADORBS!!!!1

- Photo Boy

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.16.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed starring Alec Baldwin‘s pantless young wife up there who’s Instagram I just discovered today and holy shit is that thing a goldmine. I will never understand that man’s level of rage since he basically has a bendy straw with a vagina doing goddamned splits all over his apartment all the time. Although, I’m now going to link to his daughter’s buttcheek as well as Paz de la Huerta continuing to make his beloved city a wasteland of drunken daytime prostitution, so there is that…

And nevermind, I’m back to not getting this guy at all again,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.10.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily wrap-up of the most important happenings in the celebrity world. This is where you come to discover the origin of Kim Kardashian‘s bag of curdled yogurt ass. This is where you get to pretend John Mayer is actually having that stroke we’ve all been praying for. It’s our safe place. Our place where Howard Stern‘s wife whispering homophobic slurs hidden in Saved By The Bell references into Mario Lopez‘s ear are not only acceptable, but encouraged.

Welcome, brethren, and enjoy speculating about Hugh Grant‘s date hiding a penis. I know I have been. Speculating! I meant I’ve been speculating, not hiding a peni– I think you know what I was getting at,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.3.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where today we get to shine a light on the mysterious origins of some celebrity behavior. First, there’s Solange Knowles, who I never noticed before this shot looks exactly like she could be Beyonce‘s identical twin brother. Then there’s Kevin Dillon getting an accidental text from his dad that reads “Matthew, when I think of the word son, only your face will ever come to mind. Hope you’re having a great day!” And finally, there’s Shia LaBeouf with his mother in a pic that if for you doesn’t explain literally everything that’s ever gone wrong with this kid, then you’ve clearly never run crying out of your surprise thirteenth birthday party when your mom started telling the girl you really like exactly when you were “weaned off the breast.”

WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED!!

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.27.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which is fully stuffed thanks to a three-day, well technically four-day weekend since I’ve somehow turned going on day dates with Fish to the movies into a career. Reach for the stars, kids! Anyway, I managed to avoid all but one pic from that horseshit wedding, but I felt everyone needed to know what’s going on with Mos Def. Should we call someone? Aside from that, some of the usual players showed up like Uma Thurman trying out her new Dr. Scholl’s body spray, Kelly Brook making me care about her Instagram again, and this Alexander Skarsgard pic, which was the last thing every vagina at Chiltern Firehouse saw that night before birthing a thousand babies and dying.

Kenny G without a fuck to give on a bike is the new meme you’ve been looking for,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 2.11.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which continues my series ‘I Hope To Christ Jonah Hill And Leonardo DiCaprio Never Stop Promoting This Movie.’ I haven’t seen infatuation like this since Fish was forcibly removed from Toys “R” Us for attempting to shove an entire Lego Avengers Quinjet up his ass. Ok, Aaron Paul‘s coming in at a close second with Larry King in a distant third because there’s an argument to be made that he thought that was Mischa Barton standing next to him.

Final Five‘s back today, but you’re probably not going to be very happy about it,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, WENN

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.28.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m keenly aware I’m writing words under Ireland Baldwin’s‘s bra selfie.
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What? You didn’t read the first part?

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.14.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, where our photo agencies are still pumping out shots of Golden Globes after-parties, so you’re getting a bunch of breasts that were in attendance and not much else. Well actually, we do have David Spade with one of the ones he passes off to Rob Schneider, as well as Leonardo DiCaprio who just sent a certain someone to In-N-Out on a suicide mission, and Billy Bob Thornton apparently reverse aging in addition to teaching jazz part-time at Arthur Murry now.

“But that’s how Patrick Swayze got his start!” – Fuck you for knowing that, voice in my head, just fuck you,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.3.13

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for hate-filled angst against celebrities who deserve it because they’re richer than you. That, and they’re sometimes Shawn White about to put his ankles behind his ears on a sled. Please leave all “Mr. Jackman, your order’s ready,” or “Seconds later Tom Cruise materialized out of thin air dressed as a pantsless elf” comments for our consideration. We also look forward to the following completely erroneous dialogue contributed to this picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Wait, did you just say housekeeping convention?” and “GET TO DA CHOPPAH FUCK IS THAT KID MINE TOO?!”

*looks up at Emily Ratajkowski pic, looks down at written words, walks away slowly to sad Charlie Brown music,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 11.26.13

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which will probably be the last one until after Thanksgiving, so here’s my advice for dealing with your bullshit extended family on Native American Genocide Day. Anytime your uncle says “Obama” or “Obamacare,” you take a shot or chug the closest alcohol to you. (Yes, mouthwash and your aunt’s Gin & Fanta are both completely acceptable.) Anytime your grandfather starts a sentence with “Well, on Fox News they said,” you’re allowed to smash the porcelain gravy boat and stab him in the neck. Finally, if anyone brings up Breaking Bad, you immediately praise it as Jesus’ gift unto television and compare it to The Wire and/or The Sopranos. Or you could just bypass the whole meal and go shopping, because fuck retail employees. They aren’t even real people, amirite corporate America?!

Ok, holiday rant complete. Time for some links, let me see what I’ve got here. There’s the usual butts, blah blah, Ashley Greene dying in the street, yadda yadda The Pope‘s epic battle with Satan and HOLY SHIT, Aaron Carter‘s just making out with fans in the front row now.

That should hold you guys over,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

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