Posts Tagged ‘Schwarzenegger’

Arnold Schwarzenegger Awesomley Recites Fan-Chosen Lines From His Movies

The govna’ went on Reddit and asked people to request quotes from his movies for him to perform. He chose his favorites and uploaded these videos.

He started off with “You hit like a vegetarian” from his new movie Escape Plan:

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“Put that cookie down” from Jingle All the Way:

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“Get to the chopper” from Predator:

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‘Escape Plan’ Poster: Stallone and Schwarzenegger Get Emo

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Escape Plan–the film formerly titled The Tomb, The Expendables Go to Jail, and Sly and Arnold Cover Prison Break’s Greatest Episodes–has a new poster showing off its muscley old stars caged within THE MOST SECURE PRISON EVER BUILT. Lucky for them, one of the two has evolved the ability for foresight, and they’ve got some sort of scheme to get out of there. Phew! Here’s that poster:

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[Yahoo!]

This Arnold Schwarzenegger Christmas Party Video Will Melt Your Goddamn Mind

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Above is a vintage, and from henceforth classic, Arnold Schwarzenegger video from some sort of ill-advised Christmas party where he literally tells a room full of children that in Austria, instead of Santa, the fucking DEVIL appears in your room at night and tells you everything you did wrong while swinging chains at you. He Read More …

Arnold Schwarzenegger Actually Thinks He Won Maria Shriver Back By Making Her Look Stupid

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Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s memoirs Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story hits bookstands tomorrow, so naturally he’s spent the past few days doing promotional appearances where he’s either confirmed banging Brigitte Nielsen while living with Maria Shriver before they were married or immediately noticing the son of the maid he banged looked exactly like him so Read More …



‘Last Stand’ Poster: Schwarzenegger Has Several Cool, Manly Personal Effects

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Does The Last Stand have Arnold Schwarzenegger in it? Is he a sheriff? Does that sheriff have a fucking huge gun, and a sports car that seems a little over-extravagant? In his town? On his watch? All of these nagging questions have been answered with the film’s first poster, just debuted at IGN. Find the remaining answers below.

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Schwarzenegger Reaches Apparent Truce with Predator, Will Star in ‘Ten’

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This image is perfect. Except that they aren’t doing the arm-wrestling handshake. Guy in Predator Suit is going to be regretting not doing that till the day he asphyxiates in his Predator suit.

Outside of his peace negotiations with a species of alien hunters, Schwarzenegger has also made arrangements to fill the lead in Ten, taking a role once attached to Bruce Willis but apparently equally fine for whatever Expendables supporting cameo is available. The script comes from the writer of Hugh Jackman classics X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Swordfish, and it’s said to focus on “members of an elite DEA task force who depart from their usual operations and steal millions from a drug cartel safe house. Just when the team thinks they got away with it, someone begins to take out them out one by one.” Training Day director David Ayer, who most recently completed the Jake-Gyllenhaal-is-a-cop movie End of Watch, will be the one telling Schwarzenegger where to point his gun.

Schwarzenegger Playing Some Sort of Angel Now

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Looking for redemption now that he’s tragically revealed he’s not the perfect husband everyone naturally assumed a bodybuilding Terminator would be, Arnold Schwarzenegger will soon show us what an angel can be. According to the internet’s premier Arnold Fans, TheArnoldFans.com, Schwarzenegger will in April begin shooting a film called Black Sunday, in which the former state leader says he will be playing “a kind of angel.” Sadly, Arnold went on to explain he “cannot currently say more about this film,” leaving us but to imagine what angelic form the Governator will take. Probably the angelic form of a hulking cherub covered in sagging muscle and with an accent that clearly places him from Heaven’s Austrian district. AND WITH A GUN.

(via!)

Schwarzenegger Playing Some Sort of Angel Now

arnold-schwarzenegger-2.jpg

Looking for redemption now that he’s tragically revealed he’s not the perfect husband everyone naturally assumed a bodybuilding Terminator would be, Arnold Schwarzenegger will soon show us what an angel can be. According to the internet’s premier Arnold Fans, TheArnoldFans.com, Schwarzenegger will in April begin shooting a film called Black Sunday, in which the former state leader says he will be playing “a kind of angel.” Sadly, Arnold went on to explain he “cannot currently say more about this film,” leaving us but to imagine what angelic form the Governator will take. Probably the angelic form of a hulking cherub covered in sagging muscle and with an accent that clearly places him from Heaven’s Austrian district. AND WITH A GUN.

(via!)

Arnold Schwarzenegger Doesn’t Understand Audio Commentaries, Might Be Mentally Ill

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Asked to record an audio commentary as a bonus feature for a DVD release of Total Recall, star and former state official Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently interpreted this request as a solicitation for him to watch the film and simply describe what is happening on screen and whether or not he liked it. Because of this, his commentary makes it sound like he has severe brain damage, and it is a wonder to hear–particularly if you’re blind, and always hoped someone would, beat by beat, describe what’s happening in Total Recall. Here, let Arnold Schwarzenegger do that for you:

I always thought Arnold’s pumping and cumming rant should have been the foundation of any political ad campaign run against him. As it turns out, this would have been way better.

(Thanks, M.F., and thanks to the Internet Hero who assembled this.)

Group Photo of Schwarzenegger et al Somehow an Actual Film Cast, and More…

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- Here’s a first look at Arnold Schwarzenegger, Luis Guzman, Johnny Knoxville, and Jaimie Alexander on the set of The Last Stand. The film will be Arnold’s first since leaving office, and yes, it is really a film, not an SNL sketch based around which arbitrary celebrities the cast and host can do impressions of. (via)

- Sorry, I thought we were done with Django Unchained casting, but it turns out RZA and Misty Upham will be in Quentin Tarantino’s next, too. Upham will play a bar owner named Minnie, while RZA’s will play “a violent slave” who miraculously makes your parents even more frightened of what they understand the Wu-Tang Clan to be.

- As previously rumored, TRON: Legacy star Garrett Hedlund is more than likely bringing his futuristic motorcycling experience to Warners’ ill-conceived Akira remake. If you’re wondering, no, this news is not distinguishably better or worse than any prior Akira update.

- Sony’s futile desire to create a Shelley Duvall-free, 3D animated Popeye adaptation has led them to hire Smurfs writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn to do what they do best: utterly ruin any fondness you may have for old cartoons.