Posts Tagged ‘Remake’

Nicolas Cage ‘Left Behind’ Remake Looks Even Worse Than That Sounds in First Trailer

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Then writer-producer Paul Lalonde said, Let Us make a religious disaster film in Kirk Cameron’s image, after Mike Seaver’s likeness: and let it have dominion over discount DVD bins, and over Walmart checkout lanes, and over weird little Christian stores in the mall, and over every two-pack bundled with The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.

So Lalonde created Left Behind in Kirk Cameron’s image, in the image of Mike Seaver created he it; Left Behind and Left Behind II: Tribulation Force created he them.

And Lalonde wrote and produced them, and Lalonde said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, like maybe with a third film, Left Behind: World at War.

And Lalonde saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. But maybe it could be a little better if Nicolas Cage were in it, so he started over with that in mind. Thus the heavens and the earth and the Left Behind remake were finished, and they look fucking terrible:

‘Private Benjamin’ Remake To Capitalize on Popularity of 1980s Goldie Hawn Comedies

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Rebel Wilson will apparently become our new Goldie Hawn with a remake of the 1980 comedy Private Benjamin. The film was already largely remade with the 2008 Jessica Simpson comedy Private Valentine, and was last in talks for a remake with Anna Faris in the title role, but according to The Wrap, now Wilson will star in a reinterpretation that sees Wilson playing a redneck who joins a city girl in getting in over their heads in the Marines. If nothing else, at least this settles who we’ll put in the eventual Housesitter re-imagining.

‘Point Break’ Remake Lets Bodhi Go

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Unable to deal with the tragic alternate outcome, Point Break filmmakers have at the last moment decided against shooting Gerard Butler. Though Butler was set to replace Patrick Swayze as Bodhi in the remake–giving the film a known-name against their unknown Johnny UtahTHR reports that he’s now out of the film due to a double-whammy of scheduling problems and creative differences. It’s said that production company Alcon will recast and still make their June shoot date. Though they haven’t yet released an official statement on the matter, it seems pretty obvious that it will just be this:

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Vin Diesel Suggests Ang Lee Will/Should Direct His ‘Kojak’ Remake

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It’s now been nearly a year since Universal revealed that Vin Diesel’s skull fits perfectly into the dimple left by Telly Savalas, attaching Diesel as the lead in their Kojak remake. The project had seemed largely forgotten as Diesel returned his attention to voicing big clunky creatures and driving places, but last night the actor seemed to suggest a director has been found–or at least is being pursued–for the film. Responding to a fan’s question of what director he’d like to work with, Diesel took to his usual forum, Facebook, to say, “Kojak… New York… Ang Lee…” So it sounds like Lee could be in talks to direct America’s favorite smooth, large, grumbling car-wrecker. Hopefully that works out better than it did with Hulk.

History Channel Looks Back at ‘Roots’, Decides To Remake It

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Thanks to films like Django Unchained and 12 Years a Slave, all this talk of slavery has got History Channel thinking they too should do something exploitative they can apologize for in the future. According to Deadline, the network is planning a remake of Roots, the powerful 1977 miniseries that would become one of the three things we’d later recognize LeVar Burton from. The plan is reportedly to slim the 12-hour series into an easier-to-watch 8-hour package, and History has started talking with writers to get a script that draws from the original as well as the 1976 Alex Haley novel it was based on.

This won’t be the first time the potentially huge draw of Roots–which still has the third highest-rated finale in history–has attracted producers to revisit the miniseries. Just two years after the original, ABC aired a sequel called Roots: The Next Generations; despite the fact that literally every word in that follow-up’s title makes you think of LeVar Burton, somehow he was not in that, but he did return to the role of Kunta Kinte for the 1988 Christmas special Roots: The Gift. Still, it seems quite unlikely he’d reprise the role again. Especially when just two years ago he gave the character such an unexpected but powerful send-off:

Justin Bieber and Crew Re-Make “Push It” Video! See it Here!

Having some fun while out on the road, Justin Bieber and members of his Believe tour crew put their own twist on a classic song.

The Biebs & Co, made their own video for Salt-n-Peppa’s tune “Push It” while backstage on tour.

Directed by Alfredo Flores, the hilarious video includes cameos by Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin’s manager Scooter Braun.

Check it all out in the player below!

‘The Shining’ Prequel, ‘Point Break’ Remake, Both Still Happening

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And now there are some willing participants to help realize these bad ideas.

point-break.jpgFirstly, on the Point Break front, that old remake rumor we nearly forgot about is now back to hunt us down, even if it also sort of loves us like a brother. After years of stagnation, now the film has a director, with Ericson Core reportedly taking on the undesirable task. He doesn’t have a lot of experience in directing, as his only feature directing credit to date is the 2006 Mark Wahlberg football drama Invincible. On the other hand, he was also the cinematographer on the original The Fast and the Furious, so he’s basically already done this.

Meanwhile, that The Shining prequel Warner Bros. hired the Shutter Island writer to pen now has a new writer in Glen Mazzara, Deadline reports. Mazzara has spent his career as a television writer, working on that Crash show and Nash Bridges before finding himself most recently running The Walking Dead. So who better to write a prequel to some horrific shit happening to people acting utterly irrational?

‘Ace Ventura’ Director To Remake ‘The Intouchables’ with Probably Colin Firth

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No stranger to either cloying pseudo-comedy or redoing things already huge in France, Patch Adams and Nutty Professor director Tom Shayac is reportedly coming out of retirement to direct an English-language remake of 2011’s The Intouchables.

Shadyac has been out of the Hollywood film scene since directing both Evan Almighty and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry in 2007. That experience somehow left him unfazed and fine with continuing down that path, but that same year, he did end up concussed by what would be a life-changing bicycle accident. The crash left him with months of headaches and light sensitivity, and he gave away most of his money and possessions–a journey that he chronicled in the 2011 documentary I Am. The Weinstein Company’s remake would bring him back into the narrative fold, just as it’s already brought him back into wanting to have a bunch of money again, as Shadyac’s negotiations are reportedly running long due to his wanting the kind of Liar Liar-sized paycheck he was used to.

The French original Intouchables was directed by Olivier Nakache
Éric Toledano, and starred François Cluzet and Omar Sy as, respectively, a quadriplegic and his reluctant new personal assistant. Forced to spend full days together, rich old whitey and servile black guy get completely Driving Miss Daisy‘d with mawkish, race-and-class-bridging friendship. The audience smiles sweetly.

Though he’s not signed, Colin Firth is reportedly circling the quadriplegic role, but Deadline notes there are still other actors chasing the part. Don’t yet rule out Eddie Murphy pushing around… Eddie Murphy???

Neither Beyoncé Nor Anyone Else Wants To Be in Clint Eastwood’s ‘A Star Is Born’ Remake

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Clint Eastwood still hasn’t been able to find a male lead for his A Star Is Born remake, and now both star Beyoncé and any and all references to how he “shoulda put a ring on it” have been lost on the director as well.

Though Beyoncé was long-attached to the project, Variety reports the singer-cum-actress has now dropped out of plans to play the talented young ingenue role–last played by Barbra Streisand in 1976’s A Star Is Born remake–due to scheduling issues. Or rather, a lack of scheduling to have issues with: the forever-delayed project still doesn’t have a shoot date, nor an actor to play the drunken mentor role, and having Eastwood’s face staring out of the Beyoncé calendar as a permanent question mark just became too much to handle.

The director is said to be interested in jazz musician Esperanza Spaulding now taking over the part, but he apparently won’t be offering it to her or anyone else until he finds the male co-star–which, as we’ve been following, hasn’t been going so well, with Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Smith, Christian Bale, Jon Hamm, Robert Downey Jr., Russell Crowe, and even Eminem all once rumored to have been offered or considered for the part, to no avail. Eastwood is definitely scowling about this right now.

Latest ‘Godzilla’ Remake Coming Summer 2014

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The reminder of tragic, real-life death and destruction at least a few days behind us, Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures’ have announced a release date for their long-planned Godzilla reboot: May 16, 2014. As previously reported, Monsters director Gareth Edwards is attached to direct, with a script from David Callaham, David S. Goyer, and Max Borenstein. No one tell Matthew Broderick.

(Thanks, Philip)

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