Posts Tagged ‘Probably’

Rosario Dawson Joins ‘Daredevil’ as Probably Not Foggy Nelson

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Sin City‘s Rosario Dawson is headed back to grimy back alleys of Frank Miller’s mind. The actress has officially joined the cast of Marvel and Netflix’s Daredevil. She’ll play an unnamed “dedicated young woman whose quest to heal the wounds of Hell’s Kitchen brings Matt Murdock unexpectedly crashing into her life, while her own journey forever alters the course of his battle against the injustices of this broken city.” Since this series takes place in modern day, gentrified Hell’s Kitchen, for Dawson, it’s apparently back to just moaning about rent.

‘Now You See Me’ Sequel Still Happening, Probably with ‘Jem and the Holograms’ Director

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Jon M. Chu has apparently become the go-to guy to replicate the most undeserved $ 300 million-plus grosses. The G.I. Joe sequel director is reportedly the frontrunner to direct a sequel to Now You See Me, the 2013 film in which the promise of Jesse Eisenberg and stage magic proved a weirdly huge draw, grossing over $ 350 million worldwide. Details on the new film aren’t yet available, but chances are it will again involve Jesse Eisenberg and stage magic. As it turns out, that’s probably enough.

Coen Brothers Finally Finishing Their Numbskull Trilogy, Probably

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Clooney buffoonery at last comes to those who wait, hopefully, as Deadline reports that the Coen brothers are finally getting to work on the long-planned Hail Caesar. Long thought to be a closer to the directors’ uneven “Numbskull Trilogy” (as seen previously in Intolerable Cruelty and O Brother, Where Art Thou?), the film is still described as a comedy but now comes with a very different logline than has previously been described.

While the Coens previously alluded to it starring Clooney as an old matinee idol making a biblical epic, now it’s said to focus on Eddie Mannix, the real-life Hollywood fixer of the ’50s who climbed the ranks and eventually became VP of MGM. Mannix was also still-arguably involved in Superman star George Reeves’s death, which was deemed a suicide despite the fact that Reeves left no prints on the suicide weapon and had been sleeping with Mannix’s wife. It’s unclear how much of the real-life tale the Coens will stick to in their telling, nor is it yet certain if Clooney will still be in it. Jon Polito totally will be, though. That’s not up for debate. Put your pencil mustache on, Jon.

‘Nazareth’ Miniseries Probably Not About the Band

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With some vocal members of the Christian right freaking out about Cosmos and its reliance on things that are actually science, Fox will finally toss them some Jesus with the event miniseries Nazareth. Said to focus on the life of Christ, NOT on the awesome dolphin-horse-riding robo-jockey on the cover of Nazareth’s The Fool Circle, the program is reportedly being written by Gladiator and Jumpin’ Jack Flash writer David Franzoni.

The project comes in on the wake of many other recent development deals for Jesus, including The Bible miniseries (and its theatrical version, Son of God), God’s Not Dead, Heaven Is for Real, the upcoming Left Behind remake, and an adaptation of First Phone Call from Heaven. But that only makes sense. As everyone knows, the media is run entirely by a bunch of dirty Kirk Camerons.

Tom Hanks Is The Star Of A New Music Video And Probably Doesn’t Know It

The rap parody group, Buckwheat Groats, came out with a new song titled “Tom Hanks,” which is an ode to their favorite actor.

Unlike most of his roles, this one includes sizzurp and strip clubs. I bet Chet Haze would approve.

Unlike most of his roles, this one includes sizzurp and strip clubs. I bet Chet Haze would approve.

Since Tom probably couldn't make the shoot, it's only fitting that they CGIed him into the video.

Since Tom probably couldn't make the shoot, it's only fitting that they CGIed him into the video.


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Another X-Men Movie Coming in 2016, and It Will Probably Have Apocalypse in It

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Sorry, Hugh Jackman, 20th Century Fox is going to need you to stick to that just-a-shit-ton-of-chickens diet for a bit longer. The studio today revealed that, as you probably could have guessed, they are not going to suddenly stop with the making X-Men movies. Though they’re still working on getting X-Men: Days of Future Past out for a May release, already they’re announcing a May 27, 2016 for the follow-up, to be titled X-Men: Apocalypse.

As nerds will pick up on pretty fast, that subtitle implies that the next film’s antagonist will be Apocalypse–the shapeshifting, immortal, greyish frequent villain of the X-Men who was at the center of the famed Age of Apocalypse storyline. He’s also famous for having weird lips, his own tubing system, a personalized belt buckle, and the comfort in his masculinity to sometimes go for it in lavender. Here’s an early meet-and-greet:

Harrison Ford Probably Also in ‘Expendables 3′ (!!!!)

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Like he basically did in Air Force One, Harrison Ford is set to again serve as a loose replacement for action-mode Bruce Willis. “WILLIS OUT… HARRISON FORD IN !!!!”, Sylvester Stallone today tweeted (via) about the cast of his second Expendables sequel. “GREAT NEWS !!!!! Been waiting years for this!!!!”

Indeed, at least a year ago Stallone expressed interest in getting Ford–as well as Clint Eastwood, Wesley Snipes, and Nicolas Cage–to join his latest fantasy recreation of his glory years. Eastwood remains unlikely, as he’s too busy guiding the similar “walk like a man” machismo of Jersey Boys, but otherwise Stallone has been largely successful in his casting, now seemingly securing Ford alongside Snipes and Cage, as well as Mel Gibson, Jackie Chan, and Milla Jovovich. Sly also recently agreed to coach Apollo Creed’s grandson in yet another Rocky movie, and will next star alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger to break out of a prison, because did I mention we’ve for a while been living in Sylvester Stallone’s dream?

Someone Should Probably Tell New Superman People Live In Buildings: A Review of ‘Man of Steel’

“Aw, Superman, come back. We promise we won’t stare at your penis anymore. These aliens are really strong.” If you’re debating whether to catch Man of Steel and are on a time-crunch, let me save you a pile of nerd words and say, yes, go see it. Because even though it’s not quite the Superman Read More …

Cage, Chan, Jovovich, and Snipes Probably Crammed into ‘Expendables 3′

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There have been a lot of big names being thrown around as possible additions to The Expendables 3, but as of now, it looks like only those with the lowest standards and largest tax debts are getting serious about it. Speaking to analysts this morning, Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer reportedly said he is “advanced negotiations” with Nicolas Cage, Jackie Chan, Milla Jovovich, and Wesley Snipes to join his studio’s ever-growing mass of sweat and muscle. Previously-discussed additions Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood were not brought up–presumably because they have even less reason to join this than Stallone does to make it–but Faltheimer did mention that status of another big-name team-up, reminding us that Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer are still doing a sitcom that will be shopped around to network over the coming month, so you can forget about them filling in. The Expendables team will forever lack a Bad Boy and a boy who doesn’t know what to do with all the scrambled egg all over his face.

‘Avengers 2′ Probably Adding Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch

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The Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Avengers team may soon be counting some new super-powered heroes among their ranks who are clearly more useful than Hawkeye. At the recent Iron Man 3 premiere, Avengers writer-director Joss Whedon heavily suggested as much, telling The Hollywood Reporter that, among new characters, “There may be a brother-sister act from back in the days when I was reading [the comic].” As Donny and Marie have only ever shown affiliation with Superman, thoughts have naturally gone to Scarlet Witch and her brother, Quicksilver.

They’re the daughter and son of Magneto, which you’d think would put them in the possession of Fox and their X-Men universe, but according to Marvel Studios’ Kevin Feige, since they were also Avengers members, the rights are split and both studios can use the siblings. Lawyers have already been paid to work out the legal details of a super-fast guy in baby blue spandex and his witch sister, so don’t you worry about that.

Oh, and if you didn’t know, Quicksilver is a super-fast guy in baby blue (originally green, as you can see above) spandex, and Scarlet Witch is a witch and she wears reddish stuff. But Joss Whedon will explain all that to you in 2015.