Posts Tagged ‘Longer’

Movie Trailer Voice-Over Legend Hal Douglas No Longer in Our World

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In a world where everyone dies, one man with an amazingly gravely baritone has sadly passed away. According to The New York Times, voice-over legend Hal Douglas has died of complications due to pancreatic cancer. Douglas recorded thousands of trailer narrations over the years, doing drama, action, comedy, and everything in between–a prime example being the below Comedian trailer, in which he spoofs his own famous “in a world…” work. Hopefully he thought to pre-record his own eulogy. That will be the most dramatic funeral.

Facebook Users Can No Longer Hide From Unwanted Company!

Once upon a time there was a privacy setting on Facebook called ‘Who can search for me by name’ and now that setting has disappeared!!

If you didn’t know about that setting, it was a definitely a huge help in keeping unwanted people away from your personal page if they tried …

Tom Cruise No Longer Man

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Tom Cruise has become the latest in a long string of actors who will not be in that Man from U.N.C.L.E. remake. Deadline reports Cruise has been forced to drop plans to star in the project due to obligations on Mission: Impossible‘s next exciting protocol: the last film brought the actor’s signature scamper to the side of a skyscraper, and it’s expected whatever’s in store for the sequel will require even more intense training before Cruise can run around on it.

Warner Bros. has had a real time of getting or keeping anyone attached to the lead–George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, Bradley Cooper, and Channing Tatum were all at various points considered to play American agent Napoleon Solo–but since they at least still have Armie Hammer signed to co-star, they’re reportedly going to continue forward just as soon as they find a new notable white guy to stick in a suit. You can’t just give up on a brand as white-hot as The Man from U.N.C.L.E..

‘ID43D’ No Longer Being Welcomed to Earth

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The beaming face of Judd Hirsch is doomed to remain pitifully two dimensional. ID43D, the string of digits 20th Century Fox had planned as a way to bring Roland Emmerich’s White House Explosion to the third dimension, has officially been canceled. Those yearning for the close-enough-to-touch nearness of Jeff Goldblum should seek comfort in Jurassic Park 3D, or in the knowledge that Jeff Goldblum is forever with you, always.

Daniel Craig Will Keep James Bonding a Bit Longer

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Daniel Craig will continue putting on suits and killing dudes in a gentlemanly fashion: Deadline confirms MGM has reached an agreement for Craig to continue in the role of 007 for two additional Bond films. He’s just never going to get that big promotion.

David Fincher No Longer Remaking ‘Cleopatra’ with Angelina Jolie

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What an exciting day of people not doing things! Chuck Norris won’t be an Expendable, Hugh Laurie won’t become a monkey-armed RoboCop puppet, and now David Fincher won’t remake Cleopatra with Angelina Jolie in the title role.

According to Vulture, talks have broken down between Sony and the director, who had reportedly been hoping for a historical take that would eschew the familiar sword-and-sandals epic trappings “to focus on what still makes Cleopatra ‘relatable to today.’” And of course, the thing that mostly makes Cleopatra relatable today is that she’ll be portrayed by an A-list star who’s pleasing to look at, and that fact remains: the project has, since its inception, been less about directorial vision than about proving that Jolie, not Lindsay Lohan, is the true heir to Elizabeth Taylor, and she remains attached to the lead.

As Fincher was already just playing surrogate to James Cameron, who was too busy Avataring to direct the film, the studio is already working to secure a new director, with Ang Lee said to be at the top of their list. In the meantime, Jolie will have to just keep herself self-indulged in some other ways–like smugly nodding at a framed poster for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or maybe demanding her child get a part in her big-budget Disney film. Whatever works.

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Quest For a Happy Ending No Longer Involves Marriage

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Posted by Photo Boy In a rare move for her, Jennifer Love Hewitt went on Chelsea Lately and said something that makes her seem desperate. Crazy, right? Looking for that special someone must have become too exhausting, because J Love’s pawning those three pre-selected engagement rings for spending cash to have a masseuse let his Read More …



Colin Farrell No Longer the New Richard Gere

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The narrowed, furrowed glare of Colin Farrell is no longer fixed upon the role of Lancelot.

Though Farrell was earlier this month in talks to take the Lancelot role in Warner Bros.’ long-delayed Arthur & Lancelot–replacing Joel Kinnaman, who is now being reassembled as a cyborg police officer–Deadline claims those talks did not work out–possibly, it’s implied, because “there is a lot of prep and training required for the action heavy role.” Colin Farrell does not gel his hair up every morning to train to swing a sword around, got it, Warner Bros.?

Regardless, the studio still paid $ 2 million for this script, and still wants to get it made by its proposed March 15, 2013 release date, so new casting is expected to move forward quickly. If you’re interested in being the new Richard Gere, please let Warner Bros. know.

Kirstie No Longer Shilling Jenny Craig Diet Programs

Kirstie Alley has reportedly decided not to do anymore Jenny Craig commercials, but she is still on their program. Valerie Bertinelli will take over, and Queen Latifah will be starting a new campaign. (You’ve probably already seen the really weird commercial where Queen Latifah is walking down a street and people are shouting cryptic things like “you go girl” and “great idea”. Yeah, the one where she looks as if she’s contemplating punching them out.)

‘The Munsters’ Remake No Longer Identified as ‘The Munsters’

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NBC and Bryans Singer and Fuller are needlessly bringing The Munsters back to television, but no longer are they so abashed about fact they are attempting to reconstruct Butch Patrick’s depressingly gimmicky childhood. According to TVLine, producers have now changed the title of their pilot to Mockingbird Lane, a reference to the street on which the Munsters reside. Ut oh, there goes all that built-in brand recognition! Apparently the name change has to do with the fact that NBC is putting together “a visually-spectacular one-hour drama” that is said to have little resemblance to its former namesake, leading producers to think they should start fresh with new name free of the connotations of the original. Free of the chains of the “Munsters” title, at last the concept of Frankenstein’s monster marrying a vampire woman and living with her father, their werewolf son, and human daughter can be judged on its own merit, so that audiences can more easily recognize the intrinsic drama of such a spooky family unit. The theme song will probably have less frivolous surf guitar, too. Such is drama.