Posts Tagged ‘Longer’

The beaming face of Judd Hirsch is doomed to remain pitifully two dimensional. ID43D, the string of digits 20th Century Fox had planned as a way to bring Roland Emmerich’s White House Explosion to the third dimension, has officially been canceled. Those yearning for the close-enough-to-touch nearness of Jeff Goldblum should seek comfort in Jurassic Park 3D, or in the knowledge that Jeff Goldblum is forever with you, always.

Daniel Craig will continue putting on suits and killing dudes in a gentlemanly fashion: Deadline confirms MGM has reached an agreement for Craig to continue in the role of 007 for two additional Bond films. He’s just never going to get that big promotion.

What an exciting day of people not doing things! Chuck Norris won’t be an Expendable, Hugh Laurie won’t become a monkey-armed RoboCop puppet, and now David Fincher won’t remake Cleopatra with Angelina Jolie in the title role.

According to Vulture, talks have broken down between Sony and the director, who had reportedly been hoping for a historical take that would eschew the familiar sword-and-sandals epic trappings “to focus on what still makes Cleopatra ‘relatable to today.’” And of course, the thing that mostly makes Cleopatra relatable today is that she’ll be portrayed by an A-list star who’s pleasing to look at, and that fact remains: the project has, since its inception, been less about directorial vision than about proving that Jolie, not Lindsay Lohan, is the true heir to Elizabeth Taylor, and she remains attached to the lead.

As Fincher was already just playing surrogate to James Cameron, who was too busy Avataring to direct the film, the studio is already working to secure a new director, with Ang Lee said to be at the top of their list. In the meantime, Jolie will have to just keep herself self-indulged in some other ways–like smugly nodding at a framed poster for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or maybe demanding her child get a part in her big-budget Disney film. Whatever works.

Posted by Photo Boy In a rare move for her, Jennifer Love Hewitt went on Chelsea Lately and said something that makes her seem desperate. Crazy, right? Looking for that special someone must have become too exhausting, because J Love’s pawning those three pre-selected engagement rings for spending cash to have a masseuse let his Read More …

The narrowed, furrowed glare of Colin Farrell is no longer fixed upon the role of Lancelot.

Though Farrell was earlier this month in talks to take the Lancelot role in Warner Bros.’ long-delayed Arthur & Lancelot–replacing Joel Kinnaman, who is now being reassembled as a cyborg police officer–Deadline claims those talks did not work out–possibly, it’s implied, because “there is a lot of prep and training required for the action heavy role.” Colin Farrell does not gel his hair up every morning to train to swing a sword around, got it, Warner Bros.?

Regardless, the studio still paid $ 2 million for this script, and still wants to get it made by its proposed March 15, 2013 release date, so new casting is expected to move forward quickly. If you’re interested in being the new Richard Gere, please let Warner Bros. know.

Kirstie Alley has reportedly decided not to do anymore Jenny Craig commercials, but she is still on their program. Valerie Bertinelli will take over, and Queen Latifah will be starting a new campaign. (You’ve probably already seen the really weird commercial where Queen Latifah is walking down a street and people are shouting cryptic things like “you go girl” and “great idea”. Yeah, the one where she looks as if she’s contemplating punching them out.)

NBC and Bryans Singer and Fuller are needlessly bringing The Munsters back to television, but no longer are they so abashed about fact they are attempting to reconstruct Butch Patrick’s depressingly gimmicky childhood. According to TVLine, producers have now changed the title of their pilot to Mockingbird Lane, a reference to the street on which the Munsters reside. Ut oh, there goes all that built-in brand recognition! Apparently the name change has to do with the fact that NBC is putting together “a visually-spectacular one-hour drama” that is said to have little resemblance to its former namesake, leading producers to think they should start fresh with new name free of the connotations of the original. Free of the chains of the “Munsters” title, at last the concept of Frankenstein’s monster marrying a vampire woman and living with her father, their werewolf son, and human daughter can be judged on its own merit, so that audiences can more easily recognize the intrinsic drama of such a spooky family unit. The theme song will probably have less frivolous surf guitar, too. Such is drama.

Hasbro and Universal once stood together in making a Stretch Armstrong movie, each taking a rubbery hand in their own and walking forward with the project. But in the years since the project last made progress, the two have been slowly parting ways–Universal recently put off adaptations of Ouija, Clue, Monopoly and Magic: The Gathering–and with each still firmly grasping one of Stretch Armstrong’s flaccid limbs, the project has at last torn apart, oozing out its inner goo. And that goo’s name is Taylor Lautner.

Lautner, who was once signed to shirtlessly star as the title character in a Stretch Armstrong film, is now reportedly no longer attached to the project. That’s because Universal and Hasbro are no longer pairing for the film; the toy company has now moved it over to Relativity Media, where the first order of business was to utterly dissociate the film with any star of Abduction. So, sorry, Taylor Lautner, but you don’t get to tell the story of a stretchy, tan semi-humanoid. BUT AT LEAST THE STORY WILL BE TOLD.

- Though Avatar 2 was once promised as a December 2014 release, a means to ring in the new year with Sam Worthington’s blue whatever thing, producer Jon Landau now says the first sequel is “four years away.” Nice job ruining Christmas, James Cameron.

- Disney has hired X2 and Superman Returns co-writer Dan Harris
to work on their script for Hovercar. I’ll tell you, if this movie is about what I think it’s about, IT’S ABOUT G.D. TIME.

- Isabelle Fuhrman is in talks to join Will Smith and Smaller Will Smith in After Earth, the upcoming sci-fi film from M. Night Shyamalan. Fuhrman is expecting a career boost from her part in the soon-to-be-released Hunger Games, but this Shyamalan part should put her back in her place alongside whoever those kids from The Last Airbender were.

- For those who have forgotten what Finding Nemo looks like, Disney-Pixar has released a new trailer for their 3D re-release of the modern classic. “sea it like never before,” they beg, seemingly oblivious to just how close to the edge we are:

Lionsgate’s Judge Dredd reboot, simply titled Dredd, has faced some criticism for things like buying the wrong size helmet and letting Karl Urban do the facial equivalent of Christian Bale’s Batvoice, but for fans of the comics, hope remained that director Pete Travis might be able to put together something better than the Sylvester Stallone/Rob Schneider vehicle of 1995. Well, there’s still a slim chance of that happening, but if it does, it’s not going to be the result of Travis’s grand vision of Karl Urban’s grumpy face. In fact, Travis isn’t even being allowed to finish this film up at all. According to the L.A. Times, after shooting Dredd, Travis has since been removed entirely from the editing phase of the film. Snooty bloggers weren’t the only ones disparaging of how goofy this thing was turning out, and producers reportedly “did not see eye-to-eye on footage Travis was delivering,” leaving writer-producer Alex Garland to take on the postproduction process. Word is Garland may now even seek a co-director credit on the film, so extensive are the changes he’s made to the footage, and reshoots are a distinct possibility. Just so long as there’s still cartoonish scowling, Alex.