Posts Tagged ‘FINALLY’

In honor of their years creating memorable characters and providing powerful performances, seasoned actors Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline have been rewarded with a trip to Las Vegas, compliments of 3 Ninjas, Cool Runnings, and National Treasure director Jon Turteltaub. Once there, they’ll be spending roughly 90 minutes referencing their ages, pretending to be drunk, and dropping prescription medication names, and to top it off, their fading lives will hit simultaneous peaks with a meet-and-greet with at least the LMFAO guy with the hair, if not also the other one. You can join in on all the excitement this November, but since it’s understandably hard to wait that long, here’s a little preview:

Old people in Vegas! It’s funny because it’s not actually an anomaly.

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Aren’t you ever so curious about Angelina Jolie’s mystery gold band?! Did girl fool us all and secretly get married to Brad Pitt?!

Well, we’d have all the deets for you if that were the case…

But unfortunately, it seems the humanitarian has NOT gotten hitched (yet) to her flaxen-haired lover!

Angelina landed …

Just when you thought the intensity of Uno couldn’t get any fiercer than Uno Extreme, Mattel is now teaming with The Gurin Company to bring the thrills of colors, numbers, and picking up and laying down cards to TV with an Uno series.

Despite the inherent narrative possibilities, the series would apparently be a game show, and would come as both a daily $ 100k prize version and an hour-long primetime edition offering a $ 1 million jackpot. Confirming that we’re indeed talking about fucking million-dollar game of Uno here, Deadline adds that the show will have contestants “match colors, numbers and wits for a shot at a big cash prize — but only if they play their cards right.” (That last bit is a reference to how this will involve people literally playing with Uno cards, on television.) Hopefully they’ll use the Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern deck. I’ve always considered that one to be canon.

All it takes is a lil’ public blasting!

Charlie Sheen generously donated $ 100,000 to Lindsay Lohan after she revealed her tax problems to him back when they were working on Scary Movie 5.

But that was in November. And as of last week, Linds had yet to send a Thank …

Built around the universally-accepted idea that spending a full week with your mom would be pretty intolerable–especially if you aren’t able to come to the silent agreement to just quietly watch Ellen together before retreating to separate parts of the house–The Guilt Trip casts Seth Rogen as an inventor taking his business on the road and, out of guilt for his widowed and lonely Barbra Streisand, takes her with him on the eight-day trek. Judging by this trailer, expect: mild chuckles, embarrassment, an ending emphasizing the worth of even the most hard-to-live-with of mothers, Barbra Streisand talking about penises a lot.

TSA invasiveness gags? Hits to the testicles? “Old people don’t get technology” jokes? The supporting cast of a nearby, alternate universe’s Meet the Fockers? All present in Parental Guidance, the new, heartfelt comedy that stars Billy Crystal and Bette Midler as married olds tasked with helping daughter Marisa Tomei out with her kids. They will get on each other’s nerves! But they will also love and laugh and learn, so it’s fine. See it this Christmas in IMAX 3D.

Here’s the trailer. As Marisa Tomei helpfully explains too-far in, “Grandpa tells lots of jokes that you won’t get. Just laugh.”

Wait, does the shot of Billy at 2:07 disprove Karl Pilkington’s longstanding theory regarding old men and Twix?

Long-delayed despite looking fairly decent and having a cast of varyingly-popular superheroes that includes Wolverine, Elektra, Doc Samson, and Batgirl, Butter finally hits theaters October 5, and here’s the trailer. In the indie comedy, Jennifer Garner stars as the butter-sculpting queen to husband Ty Burrell’s former king; her surefire-title/marriage/political-ambitions soon come into question when Rob Corddry and Alicia Silverstone’s African-American foster child rises as an unexpected contender for the crown, all while young stripper Olivia Wilde carries on with an affair with Burrell. Clinton-Obama political allegory! I get it, you guys. I voted.

Jackman is probably an analogue for Kucinich. That dude loves boobs.

As ridiculous as it is to, in 2012, still be making and watching Mentos commercial parodies, this Breaking Bad take on the once-thriving genre is too good to ignore. If you haven’t yet started the most-recent season of the series, know that this does contain a very minor spoiler; if you haven’t yet seen a Mentos commercial, know that this will also spoil whether or not Mentos is refreshing and capable of drastically improving real-life situations.

If you’re wondering, YouTube commenters have already covered “Methtos,” “I AM THE ONE WHO FRESHENS,” and “They’re not breath mints, they’re MENTOS. JESUS CHRIST MARIE!” But you’re welcome to come up with any other possible variations.

If you want a refresher (LOL!), here’s Brick and Looper director Rian Johnson’s original, somehow goofier scene:

(via!)

The first trailer for Dredd strongly hinted that a slow-motion drug in the film might function equally as a source of conflict and a bizarre contrivance to excuse the film’s excess of slow-mo action. This first clip from the film quickly (but also realllly slowly) confirms this theory, with Karl Urban taking the video’s full one-minute running time just to dispatch four guys with a machine gun. Adding several more level of gratuitousness, the clip also features CGI blood that literally bursts out of the frame (into the letterboxing!), seas of grossly rippling flesh, an out-of-focus tit, and, because that still isn’t excessive enough, a slowly precipitating haze of miniature lens flares permeating throughout. At last, visual evidence of the aether visionary director Zack Snyder has long-theorized as the transmission medium for totally sweet fight scenes.

(Thanks, MP Nelson!)