Posts Tagged ‘cool’

From the streets of Manhattan, here’s a first look at Chris Pine’s Ducati-driving, douchier Jack Ryan as he was spotted during production of Kenneth Branagh’s Jack Ryan. What do you think, guys? And what do you think, Branagh?

Does The Last Stand have Arnold Schwarzenegger in it? Is he a sheriff? Does that sheriff have a fucking huge gun, and a sports car that seems a little over-extravagant? In his town? On his watch? All of these nagging questions have been answered with the film’s first poster, just debuted at IGN. Find the remaining answers below.

Those noble citizens who actually bother to leave the house and pay money for movies on disc will soon be rewarded with longer, more plentiful, more garish government-mandated anti-piracy warnings. These guys are really serious about unauthorized reproduction or distribution, okay? Just look at that high school mascot eagle!

With the studios putting the new warning screens into practice this week, those who purchase Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked or other future home video releases have their movie experience preempted with the above screen–which, of course, cannot be skipped, because you’ll get your CGI chipmunks when the government says you will. This is pretty similar to the old FBI warning that’s been a laughable standard on home videos for years, except now there’s also a Homeland Security badge shoved in there to remind you that you might be a terrorist.

After ten seconds of reflecting on whether or not it’s worth the risk of ripping the film, liberating Mike Mitchell’s Alvin sequel from its pancaked panopticon, you’ll move on to ten seconds of this exciting, all-new warning:

Immigrations & Customs Enforcement Director John Morton claims that, despite the foreboding eagle, this screen is not a second threat but an educational message. The bird is merely a stern pedagogue hoping to teach us that PIRACY IS NOT A VICTIMLESS CRIME, and here’s the bird’s website if you would like to know why that is (hint: it’s because you’re stealing instead of paying people for it).

Some may point out the irony that those non-pirates who actually pay for the film are the ones subjected to the forced lecturing, but I won’t say that, because I’m not a terrorist, and I don’t want that fucking eagle coming after me. I’m just letting you know: expect more badges and birds.

(Thanks, Mike)

DVDs and Blu-rays will now carry two unskippable government warnings [Ars Technica]

Threatening Brad Pitt’s dominance as most cartoonishly-handsome peripheral baseball entity, Jon Hamm is attached to star in Million Dollar Arm, a film about the sports agent who scouted the first pro baseball talent to hail from India.

Hamm will play J.B. Bernstein, a sports business veteran who famously realized the U.S. could also start outsourcing the waning American industry of throwing things, setting up the Indian reality game show The Million Dollar Arm with the goal of finding cricket player whose pitching arms could also be used to toss a baseball in the States. He ended up finding such valuable limbs in 19-year-olds Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, signing both to the Pittsburgh Pirates and making them the first athletes from India to get pro baseball contracts. Bernstein also reportedly helped acculturate the players with action films and rap, guaranteeing the two a broad vocabulary of things Will Smith has said. Let’s hope Ashton Kutcher is up for it.

" Justin Bieber" Original Pop Art 16x20 painting Canvas w swarovski crystal

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When ordering a vodka martini in 2006′s Casino Royale, then-new Bond Daniel Craig responded to the question of “shaken or stirred” with a curt, “Do I look like I give a damn?” It was the informal announcement of a new, harder-edged Bond, one who, now that he mentioned it, did have sort of a primitive look that one couldn’t imagine discerns between shaken and stirred alcohol.

Well, this November, prepare for Bond to given even less of a damn about what he has to chug down to get wasted: Now he’s willing to drink Heineken.

In the noble Bond tradition of the spy selling watches, cars, or whatever else an advertiser will pay him to strap himself into, 007 will, for his next adventure, play a shill for Heineken USA. According to AdAge, the producers of the next Bond film, Skyfall, have made a deal with the beer distributor to feature Daniel Craig as his famous character in a new international television spot to be overseen creatively by Skyfall director Sam Mendes.

But Bond’s love of mediocre imported beer won’t be limited to the realm of commercials. The article continues, “In the movie, Bond will swap his trademark martini for a sip of the brew — at least in one scene.” So that should be good.

“Vodka martini… shaken, not stirred. Actually, hold on, wait. Do you have, like, Heineken here? I’ll have one of those. Little green bottle, not draught.”

“Well, yeah, of course it will be in a bottle. Who has Heineken draught? What, you think we’ve got a minikeg back there for all the secret agents who are so particular abou–”

“ALRIGHT. Forget it, then. I’ll just have an Amstel Light. Over ice.”

(Thanks to: Jeremy, who sent this in days ago only for me to somehow misplaced it, digitally.)

In this short directed by PES for Showtime, disembodied hands use stop-motion and black arts to prepare a bowl of guacamole using objects largely considered inedible. It has single-handedly reversed my position on whether or not I will spend a couple minutes just staring at a guy make dip. (It turns out I will if the preparation is fanciful enough to make Michel Gondry drool stop-motion cellophane.)

At last elevating Look Who’s Talking and Junior to their rightful place amongst modern classics The Usual Suspects and Pulp Fiction, designer Steven Wildish has assembled a series of illustrated film alphabets organized by decade. Below, see his alphabetical representations of the ’60s and ’80s, and maybe keep an eye on his site to see if he’ll fill in the missing decades. Try to name all the films! Try to name all the letters! Fun!

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