Posts Tagged ‘Cage’

Nicolas Cage ‘Left Behind’ Remake Looks Even Worse Than That Sounds in First Trailer

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Then writer-producer Paul Lalonde said, Let Us make a religious disaster film in Kirk Cameron’s image, after Mike Seaver’s likeness: and let it have dominion over discount DVD bins, and over Walmart checkout lanes, and over weird little Christian stores in the mall, and over every two-pack bundled with The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.

So Lalonde created Left Behind in Kirk Cameron’s image, in the image of Mike Seaver created he it; Left Behind and Left Behind II: Tribulation Force created he them.

And Lalonde wrote and produced them, and Lalonde said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, like maybe with a third film, Left Behind: World at War.

And Lalonde saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. But maybe it could be a little better if Nicolas Cage were in it, so he started over with that in mind. Thus the heavens and the earth and the Left Behind remake were finished, and they look fucking terrible:

Nicolas Cage Does John Cage in the Completely Perfect ‘Cage Does Cage’

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Experimental composer John Cage’s infamous 4’3″ is a piece composed entirely of ambient noise, during which performers do not use their instruments. In this rendition of the piece put together by Adam Lucas, Nicolas Cage is the performer, and, naturally, his unplayed instrument is his manic shouting. Cage does Cage. We merely look on in wonder.

(via!)

Cage, Chan, Jovovich, and Snipes Probably Crammed into ‘Expendables 3′

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There have been a lot of big names being thrown around as possible additions to The Expendables 3, but as of now, it looks like only those with the lowest standards and largest tax debts are getting serious about it. Speaking to analysts this morning, Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer reportedly said he is “advanced negotiations” with Nicolas Cage, Jackie Chan, Milla Jovovich, and Wesley Snipes to join his studio’s ever-growing mass of sweat and muscle. Previously-discussed additions Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood were not brought up–presumably because they have even less reason to join this than Stallone does to make it–but Faltheimer did mention that status of another big-name team-up, reminding us that Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer are still doing a sitcom that will be shopped around to network over the coming month, so you can forget about them filling in. The Expendables team will forever lack a Bad Boy and a boy who doesn’t know what to do with all the scrambled egg all over his face.

Why do they keep releasing Nic Cage Movies in the Cinema?

Question by instantlypoetic: Why do they keep releasing Nic Cage Movies in the Cinema?
I swear he has got to be the most overrated actor of his generation, and it seems like he has got a teflon jacket or is hollywood royalty cause they just won’t stop releasing his crap movies – Ghost Rider 2? They should have rebooted with another actor. I realise he had the rights and options to make the movies but talk about butchering the material twice…

Best answer:

Answer by Diggah
cant hepl there soz

What do you think? Answer below!

New ‘Croods’ Trailer: Cave-Nicolas Cage Fights a Monkey

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With Seth MacFarlane seemingly putting off his Flintstones reinvention plans as he instead reinvents himself as a host/actor, DreamWorks is taking on the task of primitive family entertainment with The Croods, an animated tale about a neanderthal group led by a rougher-to-look-at-than-usual Nicolas Cage. In this second trailer for the film, we for the first time meet a young caveman–voiced by Ryan Reynolds–that seems to be Cave-Emma Stone’s love interest, and Cave-Nic Cage fights a monkey, which I can’t believe has never happened in a Nicolas Cage movie before. No one realized the potential for his wrestling the Declaration of Independence from the paws of a mischievous baboon?

Stallone Confirms Of Course Nicolas Cage Will Be in Whatever He’s Asked

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The Expendables 3, in this case!

On his Facebook page–which, incidentally, is headed by this weirdly-normal family portrait–Stallone has given an update on his variously haggard or tax-evasive dream cast of Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes, and Nicolas Cage. While Stallone is no longer mentioning Eastwood, he brings word that Cage is a lock under his usual “for hire; no questions asked” agreement. “We have confirmed Nicolas Cage, a master actor who gives a veneer intellectual group,” Stallone deadpanned, before adding to his garbled, seemingly-translated message, saying:

Hopefully we can realize to Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes and Mickey Rourke. That is the great mission of the producer. We will continue with the same narrative scheme, the agility and the frenzy, which are inherent to the saga. What will definitely be the last? I can not guarantee. In principle it would be two deliveries, but the affection of the people encouraged us to work on a third. I guess as long as we amused ourselves by offering fun and people, we can continue playing ‘The Expendables’. For now we are not as expendable as it should and as some critics want.

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Nicolas Cage May Be ‘Left Behind’ Reboot’s New Kirk Cameron

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With his continued, thriving mainstream success against actors making much stronger choices, Nicolas Cage has already obliviously fought against the basic ideas of natural selection. But now producers are asking him to take his support of Christian extremism one step further: starring in a reboot of the Left Behind series.

As reported nearly a year ago, Left Behind writer-producer Paul Lalonde has always felt it was His will for his series to be brought to theaters, not forever discounted near supermarket check-outs. And though the idea of an improved second generation would seem to stray a bit too close evolution, Lalonde and Left Behind 3: World at War script consultant John Patus have been working on a reboot with a larger budget and a less overtly-religious, more disaster-themed take on The Rapture that might appeal to broader audiences. According to The Hollywood Reporter, they want to even further broader that broad appeal by getting Nicolas Cage to shout at God in the lead role once zealously filled by Kirk Cameron, and Cage is said to already be in talks to take it.

The issue, though, may come down to budget: while the reboot does have a vastly larger price tag than the original at $ 15 million, that’s still not all that much for an assumedly CGI-heavy disaster film, and Nicolas Cage, for whatever reason, does not come cheap. But then again, maybe it will work out. After all, when you need Him most, He always finds a way, and maybe Cage will take a pay cut if it means fucking Kirk Cameron over for horning in on the search for America’s National Treasure. Cage has got it covered–got that, Mike Seaver?

Nic Cage and/or Darth Vader Will Save the Princess

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The Star Wars prequels’ Hayden Christensen and Bangkok Dangerous star Nicolas Cage are at last combining their respective talents at saving princesses and doing whatever stupid bullshit in eastern Asia.

According to The Wrap, Christensen–who wasn’t in a single film last year–and Cage–who headlined five films last year, because Cage don’t give a fuck–will co-star in stuntman Nick Powell’s directorial debut, Outcast. Scripted by James Dormer and budgeted at only $ 25 million, the film takes place in 10th century China, and takes the straightforward, video game approach of following a warrior as he attempts to redeem himself by saving a princess. It’s not clear whether it’s Cage or Christensen attached to play the warrior, but it is exceedingly clear that neither of them are Chinese–though that fact, for whatever reason, presumably won’t matter. As I said, Cage don’t give a fuck.

‘Stolen’ Trailer: Nicolas Cage Has 12 Hours To Steal $10 Million To Save His Daughter!

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Combining the kidnapped daughter scenario of Taken, the Nicolas Cage-as-a-master-thief-forced-to-return-to-crime conceit of Gone in 60 Seconds, and the ridiculous voiceover of an action preview unearthed from a 25-year-old VHS tape, here’s the trailer for Nicolas Cage’s latest exceedingly-Cageian project, Stolen.

In typical Cage fashion, typical plays a recently-incarcerated robber whose estranged daughter is kidnapped and held in a moving taxi by Josh Lucas, a former crime partner who’s demanding his share of a botched job. Unfortunately, Cage literally burned through that money for some reason, and with the police unwilling to believe such a clich├ęd Nicolas Cage action premise, “TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER, HE HAS JUST TWELVE HOURS TO STEAL TEN MILLION DOLLARS.” (Source: Distractingly-unprofessional trailer narrator.) As you can imagine, from there, the rest of the film pretty much just shouts itself.

The Simon West-directed film surprisingly hits actual theaters September 14th. A supercut of Cage shouting into cell phones, his elbow furiously jutting out perpendicular to his body, will hopefully spring up well before then.

‘Here Comes the Boom’ Trailer: Paul Blart’s School of Cage Fighting

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The latest in the ever-growing “Kevin James succeeds with workaday job and unduly attractive mate” series, Here Comes the Boom stars James as a slovenly teacher looking for a way to save his school’s underfunded arts program. Noting that MMA fighters get paid money–and, hey, money is exactly what his school needs!–James embarks on a career as an amateur cage fighter, thus impressing fellow teacher Salma Hayek, bringing to fruition Henry Winkler’s Opus, and saving art while at once irreparably damaging it through physical comedy. HERE COMES THE BOOM, apparently! Or if that doesn’t work, then Here Comes the Campbell’s Soup Label Collection Drive.

Here Comes the Boom comes from director Frank Coraci, whose work The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Click, and Zookeeper has established him as Left Hand of Happy Madison, there to hold the camera whenever Right Hand Dennis Dugan grows weary. It hits theaters October 12.