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Jason Sudeikis Joins Galifianakis, Wiig, and Owen Wilson in What Certainly Sounds Like a Comedy Cast

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Jason Sudeikis is joining Zach Galifianakis, Owen Wilson, and Kristen Wiig in the comedy casting equivalent of one of the internet sandwiches where someone throws a bunch of a different meats in and presses them together. If these all taste fine in various combinations two at a time, maybe all the better to have them at once? So we’ll find out with an untitled film from Napoleon Dynamite‘s Jared Hess.

Based on a true story, the film sees a group of idiots who successfully rob an armored car of nearly $ 20 million. Wilson is playing their leader, Galifianakis the Loomis Fargo driver in on the heist, and Wiig the love interest that gets him to go along with it. Sudeikis is playing a hit man. Danny McBride is executive producing. The cameos will assumedly be various and overwhelming. Bill Hader might even get to voice the armored car.

Morning Links for June 24, 2014

Morning Links for June 24, 2014
Disney stars whose names are not Justin Timberlake and Ryan Gosling will be coming to the State Fair's main stage, reports the JS. Boko Haram is suspected of kidnapping at least 90 more people in northeastern Nigeria. It's probably wise not to climb …
Read more on Milwaukee Magazine

5 Years on, Michael Jackson More Alive than Before
"Love Never Felt So Good" is also featured with Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson has earned over US$ 600 million since he died in 2009. Some of the earnings support Jackson's three children and mother. Much more has allegedly gone to erase the …
Read more on CRIENGLISH.com

Forget the iWatch. The truly hip go for the pocket watch
Celebrities and fashion icons — Johnny Depp and Justin Timberlake included — are sporting pocket watches, new or old (hey, there's nothing that says you can't wear your grandfather's watch). And on a related note, a pocket watch owned by James Dean …
Read more on MarketWatch

Giant Size The Most Important People On The Internet: Volume 4.14

Thanks to the holiday weekend, last week was shorter than usual, so we didn’t have quite enough comments to justify a Most Important People on The Internet. Fortunately, not only did I hold onto them, but you beautiful bitches brought it this week, so we have a goddamn goldmine of horrible comments that will make D-Day look like a box social. And if you think that’s an offensive thing to say, those soldiers destroyed that poor beach’s self-esteem. Just destroyed it. It’s never been able to have a stable relationship since, and I heard sometimes it even cuts itself. Cutting! I hope stopping Hitler was important, jerks.

Kendall Jenner Flashes Flesh in Interview Magazine June 2014

She’s been a big fan of showing off her lady parts as of late, and Kendall Jenner barely maintains her modesty in the new issue of Interview Magazine.

The 18-year-old model covers her breasts with her hands in one shot, and subsequent photos find her exposing her tummy and doing her best Zoolander “Blue Steel” pose.

In the accompanying interview, Kendall shares, “When I was little, I would always lie about the stupidest things. In kindergarten or first grade, I would tell people I had tigers living in my attic and a room full of gold.”

“I would tell people I was from Hawaii, but I had a Southern accent. I was the biggest liar for no reason, and then as I got older, I thought, ‘Why am I lying to everybody?’ I would hear other people lie and be like, ‘You sound so stupid.’ So then I would just change my lies. The only person I lie to is my little sister [Kylie Jenner], when I steal her clothes.”

Jenner also notes that she’s thankful to have found the path she’s on. “To be honest, this is exactly what I wanted to be. I was always looking up to supermodels, they were, like, my superheroes.”

As for her inspiration, Kendall credits proud papa Bruce Jenner. “My dad is my everything. He always had the craziest speeches for Kylie and me growing up, good words to live by. ‘Dream big, work hard.’ My parents brought Kylie and me up to be workaholics. That’s something I really appreciate.”

Iggy Azalea Shuts Up Internet Haters

Standing up for herself, Iggy Azalea speaks up against her haters early Monday morning (June 2).

The “Fancy” singer tweeted, “Just remember while your all at home online cracking jokes about artists etc that Most of you have done NOTHING. NOTHING! With your lives.”

Iggy went on to tweet, “Don’t flex someone else’s achievements. So many of you Internet kids quote the feats of others as if they were your own. And just to clarify for anyone who didn’t understand that last statement goes out to people who bully others.”

She concluded her rant with, “Don’t be cruel to one another. And learn to understand how much work it takes to achieve anything in life…. Success should be celebrated and not used as an excuse to be awful to others, especially when it’s not even your own. That was my point.”

Josh Brolin To Play Thanos from ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ Onward

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Josh Brolin has reportedly been signed on to voice Thanos, the lavender villain who appeared post-credits in Avengers to break the fourth wall and shoot a grin at the audience. What a galactic ham! The character is expected to play a large role as the Marvel universe builds to a larger climax, and it’s said he’ll appear to some extent in both Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers: Age of Ultron before assumedly becoming the main bad guy of Avengers 3. I’d always imagined a Thanos who could easily slip into a George W. Bush impression.

Palm D’Or Winners Red Carpet – The 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival

CANNES, FRANCE – MAY 25: Jury Member Sofia Coppola attends the red carpet for the Palme D'Or winners at the 67th Annual… 

Welp, Edgar Wright Isn’t Making ‘Ant-Man’ Anymore

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Here’s some shit news to dampen your holiday weekend: Edgar Wright has dropped out of Marvel’s Ant-Man. Though Wright has been connected to the project since 2006–two years before Iron Man even broke the seal on the whole Marvel Universe–today the director and studio jointly announced a parting of ways, officially due to “differences in their vision of the film.” Assumedly, that means Wright wanted to make the Edgar Wright film we’ve been anticipating for eight years, while Marvel no doubt wanted to maintain the status quo of having their universe’s loudest and most distinct voice be Samuel L. Jackson’s.

While the change definitely impacts how much we’re looking forward to an Ant-Man movie, it does not affect the film’s July 17, 2015 release date, and “a new director [less interesting than Edgar Wright] will be announced shortly.”

Jay Z & Solange Are Sorry You Saw Their Illuminati Blood Feud

On Monday, the world got to take a peak through the cracked veneer of Beyonce‘s obsessively curated life when a now-fired employee at The Standard Hotel sold surveillance video of Solange Knowles straight slapping the shit out of Jay Z on an elevator. Since then we’ve been treated to rumor after rumor followed by passive-aggressive Instagram subterfuge which seemed to suggest this was somehow all Rihanna‘s fault. Except now the Carter-Knowles’ family has released an official statement in hopes that everyone will stop Googling if Beyonce is secretly Solange’s mom. TMZ reports:

“Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family.”
The statement continues, “The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false. At the end of the day families have problems and we’re no different.”
“We love each other and above all we are family. We’ve put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same.”

In related news, hey, remember that guy who used to tour with Jay Z? You know the one who knocked up that chick with the giant ass. You almost never hear from them anymore. I wonder what they’re up to.

“Are you seeing all this press? You know what we have to do, right?”
“Kourtney. It’s gotta be Kourtney. Don’t be siccin’ no Chewbacca on me.”
“You really want people to see you get your ass beat by my smallest sister?”
“Bitch, I want them to see me still be alive.”

Photos: Getty / Splash News

Sans Keanu: First Trailer for NBC’s ‘Constantine’

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For the latest Constantine adaptation, NBC has exorcised Keanu Reeves, but it looks like they’ve held on to some of the dated corniness of that previous attempt. In this TV version, Welsh actor Matt Ryan plays the titular supernatural detective–now painted so very thick with his signature irreverence–and DC comics go-to adapter David Goyer and The Mentalist executive producer Daniel Cerone put together the pilot script.

Here’s the first trailer for the series. So begins its countdown to NBC unceremoniously canceling it to give Sean Hayes or Christian Slater another shot.